Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Church Of Buffett—The Story Of Marvin Gardens

 


Here is more content from the Church Of Buffett website. It was a great site but was sadly hacked and is no more. You can still find bits & pieces of it around the internet. Here is a great article on Marvin Gardens. Check it out. It’s their  words, not mine.

Welcome to the Unofficial Marvin Gardens Memorial Page.

Somewhere near the corner of Ventor and Atlantic Avenue, Sandwiched in between the Water Works and the Jail you'll find the humble home where Marvin Gardens was born.


This page is dedicated to the life and times of an unknown drunken calypso poet, who lived the good life, and died the great death. Gone but not forgotten, Marvin we love you!


You wanna know where to go!


I'll tell a where to go but you won't get no stinking $200.00!


The Marvin Gardens Obit

An account of Marvin's early life

Marvin's Greatest Hit

Could It Be

Was this his last great song?

Just The FQA Frequently Questioned Answers

He went to Paris, a letter from Bubba

Marvin plays at Herbie's Tumble Inn

You mean there's more!

The Official Marvin

Salty Dog

Parrot Central

Marvin Gardens


Man, Myth, and Legend

Many questions arise about who Marvin Gardens was, where he came from and what influence did he have on the music in America. Little is known about this legendary figure. actually for most people all that is known is that he wrote a song entitled Why Don't We Get Drunk (and Screw) for singer/songwriter Jimmy Buffett.Gardens is actually so obscure that some biographers have even suggested that he did not exist but was actually a pseudonym for Buffett himself.

This narrative is an attempt to set the record straight. Two months ago I was also one those people who thought that Marvin did not exist. That was before I started doing research on the Steve Goodman Legacy page. While doing research on this page, I happened across an individual in Chicago, who not only knew Marvin Gardens but was related to him thru marriage and this is how I came to know the full truth about Marvin Gardens


John Dreger was former bar singer, who toured the Chicagoland area often backing up Goodman on local shows. He was introduced to Gardens one cold December night back in 1970. The three of them (Goodman, Gardens, and Dreger) went out drinking after the show and ended up being bailed out if the 111 th street lockup two days later by Gardens' sister. Gardens The following is some biographical information obtained from Dreger about Gardens.


Probably the most asked question is was that really his name. The answer is no. His real name was Charles Darrow. Why did Marvin change his name? Marvin was wanted for both income tax evasion and desertion from the United States Army. Marvin never once filed an income tax form. He believed that paying taxes violated his constitutional rights. The strange thing about it is that he actually never worked a day in his life with the exception of his stint in the army.


Marvin deserted the U.S army after being wounded in Vietnam in 1966-67. A sniper's bullet took off two of his toes after ricocheting off his canteen cup. while convalescing at China Beach he snuck out of his bed, and boarded a C-130 heading for Thailand. From there he boarded a junk and headed out to sea. Marvin probably would have received an honorable discharge for medical reasons but he had had enough of the Army bureaucracy, so as he put it "I just left. Paper work was their bag, I had my life to live and I wasn't going to waste anymore of it on somebody else's account." It was at this time that Marvin took the name Marvin Gardens. Marvin ended up in Tampico, Mexico and became a mate on shrimp boat. He made a comfortable living not thru shrimping but by smuggling drugs and running &"illegals" up the Mississippi and thru the keys. Ii was these antics that led to the songs Tampico Trauma and Banana Republics by Steve Goodman, and Jimmy Buffett.


Around 1968, Gardens met up with a young singer who was trying to make a living as a shrimper while trying to land a record deal. This man was Jimmy Buffett. They had met in New Orleans. As Buffett stated "Marv was in the shit hole of a dive, hitting on this hooker and trying to pass some high quality ganga. I bought a lid and told him I knew a couple other cats who might be interested." One thing led to another, and Marvin, now owner of his own Shrimp boat, signed Buffett on as a mate. the two got along real well. buffett found out that Marvin was also a song writer and a pretty good guitar and piano player, yet he had no real interst in getting recorded. Buffett ran with Marvin for about two months and then he got a record contract. He tried to get Gardens to join him in the contract but Marvin told Buffett that "no one signs my paycheck. That way no one owns me. and i can do what I want to do" A year later, Marvin was flying a plane in and out of the keys, now supposedly spotting fishing sites for the shrimpers, but he was still in contact with Buffett. Gardens ran into Buffett down in the keys one hot miserable summer and the two decided to fly north for a little cool breeze. Gardens had a consignment of souvenirs from Mexico that he needed to deliver in Chicago, so the two flew north.


While in Chicago they went on a bender and caught Goodman playing in the Road & Gravel Bar. What started of as a temporary diversion from the Florida heat became a two week binge of whoring and drinking. It was at this time that the words for the song Why Don't we Get Drunk were written. The three men became fast, close friends. Marvin shrimp boat had been confiscated, and all that he had left was about twenty dollars and his Cessna T-337, SkyMaster. He decided that the times had changed and he should probably change occupations for awhile. Buffett and Goodman both tried to get him to sign on with them but Gardens stuck to his principals. All of them also realized that if Gardens was to sign a contract, the authorities would track him down in a heart beat. Finally they came to an agreement. Gardens would work as an un-named uncredited musician. They paid him scale, plus a small percentage of the royalties. Gardens in turn flew them around from town to town and even taught Buffett to fly. The only song that Gardens ever allowed to be credited to him was the Why don't We Get Drunk. The reason for this was his pride.


According to everyone interviewed, back when the three of them first met, they all made a bet on what was the best pick up line. Gardens bet them $1,000 that he could pick up more girls using the line "Why don't we get drunk and Screw" then any line the other two could think up. As the story goes, neither Goodman or Buffett had that much money so they instead bet part of the future financial gains against Gardens $1,000. Gardens knew a good deal when he heard one so he took the challenge. In the end, Gardens picked up twice as many women with his one line then the other two did with any other phrase they could think up. (He also got slapped and kneed in the groin twice as many times as the other two did.)


Death of an Unpopular Calypso Poet


From the Sarasota Herald-Tribune...1 April, 1989

Legendary Entertainer Marvin Gardens Dead at 42


Marvin Gardens, the wry and witty singer/songwriter noted for

his risque lyrics and life on "the edge" died of a massive coronary

infarction today at the Sarasota Rock 'n' Roll Rest Home, according

to a statement released by the Sarasota County Coroner's Office and

officials at the home.  He was 42.

Mr. Gardens, best known for the song "Why Don't We Get Drunk,"

which was popularized by singer Jimmy Buffett in the early '70s, was

an early influence in the "gonzo" style of music that included Jerry

Jeff Walker, the late Steve Goodman and Mr. Buffett.  "Gonzo," a

term borrowed from author Hunter S. Thompson, describes the crazy,

almost insane, lyrics and tunes of some late '60s and early '70s

post-folk melodies.

Mr. Gardens had been in the home permanently since a 1981 stroke -

which ironically occured on the same day that his old musical partner,

Buffett, released his 'Somewhere Over China' LP.  Reports indicated that

Mr. Gardens was listening to a promotional copy of Mr. Buffett's 'Off to

See the Lizard' release when he declared, "Oh no - this can't be happening!"

He collapsed and was pronounced dead by the resident physician at the home.

Mr. Gardens, the scion of a prominent Atlantic City, N.J. family,

had not performed in public in some time.  He is credited on several of

Mr. Buffett's albums as well as pictured on the cover of Mr. Goodman's

'Someone Else's Troubles" LP.  His early collaberations with Mr. Buffett

were in New Orleans in the 1960s.  While the two had a falling out over

Buffett's decision to drop a controversial song Garden's had reportedly

written for his 'Havana Daydreamin' LP, the two had partially reconciled

although there were no plans to reinstate Gardens in the Coral Reefers for

the upcoming tour or any other.

Reached for comment in Los Angeles, Mr. Buffett stated that, "Some

people don't even know how close Marvin and I used to be.  I'll miss

him.  We were so very close."  He added, "It sort of became an on-running

joke. 'Fingers' [Taylor - Buffett's harmonica man] used to call him my

alter-ego.  It got so bad that some people even wondered if there was

actually two people or just one of us.  Kind of like Batman and Bruce Wayne.

That sort of thing."  Recalling their early adventures, Buffett recounts,

"I'd often sign in to hotels under Marv's name.  Marvin never could figure

out why Holiday Inn's lawyers kept sending him all those certified letters."

Mr. Gardens' remains will be cremated and spread over the Gulf of

Mexico after a private service today.  He has no known survivors.

I smell a cover up...

 

Marvin Gardens Just The FQAs


Marvin Gardens *is* entirely a creation of Jimmy Buffett's mind.  (I'd

sure like to see M.G. get a role in one of these books or movies).  Before

JB could even afford to have a back-up band, there was the original

(read imaginary) Coral Reefer Band.  The line-up was:


  Jimmy Buffett, Vocals, Guitar


   Marvin Gardens, Guitar


   Kay Pasa, Bass


   Kitty Litter, Background Vocals


   Al Vacado, Drums


The part about Marvin becoming Jimmy's alter-ego *is* true.  I get the

impression that Marvin was Jimmy's ornery side.  The part about signing

into hotels I also believe to be true (I think he's used Frank Bama and

Freddy Fishstick for that purpose, too). 


Marvin did "write" 'Why Don't We Get Drunk.'  If you don't believe me,

grab your copy of Sport Coat (failing that - Songs You Play to Death or

the Box Set will do) and look by the song.  Whoever wrote that he couldn't

find any reference to Marvin didn't look very hard.  Obviously, in

1973, one might not want his *own* name on a tune like 'Why Don't We

Get Drunk.'


Apparently, Marvin had a hand in writing 'Please Take Your Drunken Fifteen

Year Old Girlfriend Home.'  I have a bootleg show where JB plays the

song (which at the time was to be released on the upcoming 'Second Wind'

LP - as you know, the song never made it and the album was retitled

'Havana Daydreamin'').  Anyway, after the song, some guy in the crowd

yells, "Marvin Gardens lives!"  Jimmy responds, "Marvin Gardens is...

barely alive...he's in the rock 'n' roll retirement home down in

Sarasota.  He's got an IV bottle with Gatorade in it."  So, that's

where that came from - Jimmy himself kind of wrote the story -- I just

put a few loose ends together  😊


 


Well - there is a bit more irony to the whole thing.  If you have the vinyl

of Havana Daydreamin', the inscription starts, "Well, here I am at

album four...There are now real Coral Reefers that have replaced the

ficticious chracters I used to employ (Farewell Marvin Gardens and Company)."

The retirement of Marvin Gardens - both as written on the label -

but symbolicly as well (the decision not to use '15 Y/O Girlfriend')

probably say a lot about JB's music.  The next album, of course, was

Changes and was probably the first one that starts to show the sounds

that we think of as Jimmy Buffet music now - it's also his first major

success.


 


Take care...Stu


  stu@uga.cc.uga.edu         

 The University of Georgia  

 Church of Buffett - Orthodox 

(or so goes the official cover up)

 Dated 03/14/95

Could it be possible:

 

I went over to see the woman who claims to be Marvin's

sister the other day to try and verify some basic facts

about the "15 year old girl friend" song but when I got to her

house she was gone.  Some nosy "buscha" stuck her head out

as she saw me snooping around the front yard and told me

"They ain't home"  I asked her if she knew when they'd be back

and she said, "Couple weeks they went on their usual trip to

the Caribbean."  When I said "usual?" she came back with,

Yes they go to Saint Lucia every three or four months to visit

her cousin.   This made me wonder, and so i asked her "out of

curiosity, would her cousin be named Marvin?"

The old buscha was now standing on her front porch wearing

those disgusting furry slippers and a raggedy duster, you know

the typical houseware for old buscha in Chicago.   She shook her head

slowly.  I turned away to leave only half listening to her negative

reply but then just as suddenly I turned around as her cousin's name

registered. "BILLY VOLTAIRE" I screamed at the old lady.  She almost

fell from the porch in surprise. After she recovered she said "Yes,

Billy Voltaire, do you know him."

I came back with  "I think so, is he a Piano player?"

"Well [Marvin's sisters] says he used to play piano but now he

just works in his garden.  He's retired." says the buscha.

The coincidence was just too much for me but I reasoned it

could still just be a coincidence.  Afterall Billy Voltiare was

just name in Cuban Crime of Passion.  Maybe Buffett just borrowed

Marvin's cousin's name, maybe he had met Billy way back in the

early Seventies.  Another question popped in my mind.  I remembered

that Marvin's Cessna T-337 was stolen shortly after his death.

I asked the woman  "Does Mister Voltaire own an airplane?"

The buscha replied "Yes."

"Do you know what kind it is?

The old woman laughed. "No...i don't know much about planes"

"well have you ever seen it?"  I asked somewhat impatiently.

"Oh yes.  I went down to Saint Lucia with [name again withheld]

last year. Billy flew us all over to Saint Thomas in his plane.

"Could you describe it for me?"

"Well it was kind of funny because it had an engine in front

and also in back and it had two tails"

I almost jumped for joy!  The desciption she gave

could only be that of Cessna T-337.

Now if I can  only confirm my suspisions. Could Billy Voltaire be

Marvin Gardens?  Could Marvin have faked his own death?   Or is

Billy Voltaire  just an old piano player who happens to be related

to the great one, and now the proud owner of piece of history?

Dear Toby,

dated July 5, 1995

He Went to Paris. At least that what I beleive. I was coming out of the Moulin Rouge. I had managed to sneak in a camera a get a couple Pics (I'll snail mail them to you in a day or two)


But to make a long story short I think I saw Marvin. He was as sun drenched as ever. I called out "Marvin" and he looked my way and just as quickly took off running. I managed to snap this picture before he slipped down into the Paris Subway. I tried to follow him but I lost him. I immediately started calling the various hotels in Paris but to no avail. i suspect that he stays in a private home, when over here, perhaps supplied by Buffett.


I checked the Paris phone book for a man named Gardens or Voltaire but you can guess what the results were.


So we are left with only this one picture


What do you think, could this be the elusive Marvin Gardens?


In any case I'm trying to keep track of any flight heading toward the Caribbean, specifically those that include Saint Lucia as a possible destination. unfortunately I only have seven more days in Paris. It seems like Marvin has once again slipped thru my fingers.


PS I was going to post this to the various newsgroups but with all this talk of Buffett buying land in Florida, well i just thought I should tell you o this latest development and let you decide what should be done with it Your Salty Dog, Bubba.


Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw


By: Marvin Gardens 

1973 


I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here 

Your voice sounds so wonderful 

But yer face don't look too clear 

So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o' brew 

Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw 


Chorus: 

Why don't we get drunk and screw 

I just bought a water bed, it's filled up for me and you 

They say you are a snuff queen 

Honey I don't think that's true 

So, why don't we get drunk and screw 


-- Spoken: "Pick it Coral Reefers, here we go..." 


(swing instrumental) 


Chorus: 

Why don't we get drunk and screw 

I just bought a waterbed it's filled up for me and you 

They say you are a snuff queen 

Honey I don't think that's true 

So why don't we get drunk and screw 

Yeah, now baby I say, (Lord!) 

Why don't we get drunk and screw 


Please Take Your Drunken

Fifteen Year Old Girlfriend Home


@NOTE: Performed Live 1975, The Boarding House, San Francisco, CA

Please Take Your Drunken Fifteen Year Old Girlfriend Home

By: Jimmy Buffett (or was it really an uncredited Marvin Song?)

c. 1975

Please take your girlfriend a home

She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone

I'm horny and my mind begins to roam

So please take your drunken fifteen year old girlfriend home

She found mama's quallude 'script

Took a few just right before the show, ooh

She is no beer drinker

She used the bathroom fifteen times I know

Her overtures were rather crude

Her boyfriend he was more than rude to me

I'm twenty-eight and I don't date

I still know classy women who like me

So please take your girlfriend a home

She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone

I'm horny and my mouth begins to foam

So please take your drunken fifteen year old girlfriend home

--Spoken

"Oh, get her out of here."

She said our show was rather dull

She like Jethro Tull more than she liked us

She said a cab cost twenty bucks

I gave her thirty cents to ride the bus

When she hit me with that line

Something with which I just cannot agree

When she said she dug the harmonica player

A whole lot more than she really dug me

Oh please take your girlfriend a home

She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone

Oh take her to go read the Rolling Stone

And please take your drunken fifteen year old girlfriend home

Yeah, please

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